Most Important

March 20, 2010
Saturday, 4:42 P.M.
Home

I sit here this afternoon on the beautiful first day of Spring, pleased that the sun is shining and the air is deliciously warm. I also sit here, alone, realizing that I am living the last day of my life as the most important person in the world to someone. My youngest son is getting married tomorrow and I am wise enough to know that I must step aside gracefully to allow his wife to step into that place that I have held so dear. I know how this routine goes; it has happened before with my older son. One day, you are special and loved beyond all things and the next, you have dropped to second, third, fourth, or even lower place. It is a painful experience and it makes me sad. I wish for my Tom the same that I wished for his older brother; that he find joy and love and peace with his new wife, my daughter-in-law. Len has. He and his wife and children are an amazing family living the American dream to its fullest. Sometimes they let me come in.

So tomorrow morning, I will wake up alone, get ready for the wedding alone, drive myself to Fox Hollow alone, walk through the doors alone, witness the beginning of my end alone and then come home to be alone. I feel older somehow than I did yesterday. Today, I am Tom's mom, tomorrow I will be Megan's mother-in-law. I am not the most important person in the world to anyone, anymore...that's lonely.