Listening Ears

March 17, 2010
Wednesday, 7:43 P.M.
Home

Having a conversation with a coworker today, I considered, not for the first time, how very little people listen to one another when they speak. It seems as though when one person's mouth is moving, that is the cue to the listener to turn off their "listening ears" as Judge Judy would say. If you look very closely, you can almost see the little flicker in the eye that indicates electrical waves going crazy in the brain to come up with the worse or best story scenario. If the speaker is going on about a sore toe, then the listener must one up him with a twisted foot. If the speaker is referring to his new jet ski, the listener has a beautiful new sailboat. If the speaker is down in the dumps, the listener is suicidal. If the speaker has a happy marriage, the listener has the best guy in the world. What is it about human nature that we can't just listen and truly hear the person who is talking to us? Why is it so difficult to empathize or feel delight for the speaker? It seems to me people miss out on a lot of good feelings and happy thoughts by behaving this way. I can't count the number of times I have left a conversation feeling so much better than when it started, simply because I paid attention and gleaned that little spark of pleasure for having done so. Call me crazy, but I feel badly for someone who is hurting and I am pleased as punch for someone who is doing well and either way, I want them to know it. My bigger and better or sadder and more devastating can wait for another time...